A Natural Conversation

Posted: November 11, 2012 in grief, nature
Tags: , , , ,

Stepping out this sunny afternoon, a butterfly greeted me.

I smiled, “Hello, baby!” Tony’s spirit is among all of nature, and today he manifested himself through the butterfly. My heart lifted as I followed it from one blade of grass to the other. I hunkered down to take a picture of it, and his yellow wings fluttered.


“Wait! Wait for me!” I called after him, with my camera in tow. It continued to fly away from me, and then just as quickly veered direction to return to me like a reckless driver. Its path led him straight into my face before he veered away, with only seconds to spare. He fluttered just past my shoulder, circled around my head a few times, and then once again settled in the grass.

“OK, we’re going to try this again,” the butterfly said. “Mama, where I am, you cannot come. I’ll come to you for a short while, but you must not follow me until your time has come. I promise, I’ll be there. For now, this is how it has to be, Mama.” And so began my telepathic, natural conversation with my son.

With fluttering wings, the butterfly flew peacefully in my front yard, first landing on a bush then a blade of grass, and then the fire hydrant. This time, I watched from a distance, joy and sadness filling my heart. “I love you, I love you! Baby, I miss you so much. I understand.” With a sigh, I got in my car and drove off.

“TONY!!!!!!” I looked into the horizon. High above the trees and the peaks of the Cumberland Plateu in the distance, I noticed my “T” shout-out!

“You believe, don’t you, Mama? I thought I’d give you a cloud T this time instead of the man-made ones I’ve been sending! Today, I wanted to give you this awesome gift.”

Several times now, the paths of jets have crossed  to form a giant letter “T” in the sky. Other moms have seen them too! This one was a puffy, lower-case “t” formed by clouds. Grinning broadly, I answered “I believe!! Baby, I believe!!!” Alternating between keeping my eyes on the road and following my “t,” my heart skipped a beat when I saw another formation. This picture in no way does the experience justice, but here it is.


The “t” merged with another cloud, and this cloud had the semblance of a dove in flight. “Don’t be sad, Mama! I’m free!! I’m alright!! I’ll be here when you are ready! I promise!!!”

“I know…baby, you can see me.”

  1. Mavis says:

    Beautiful, and so touching. Thank you for sharing this.

  2. John A Getsi says:

    Really lovely narrative and pictures.

  3. Debra says:

    Amparo, This is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
    Love, Debra

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