The Transitional Link

Posted: April 16, 2013 in grief, nature
Tags: , , , ,

We walked and we talked for hours, chatting about nature, then life, then languages, then energy, and love, and auras. It was a leisurely walk, with many stops to photograph a wildflower here, a stream, a fallen tree there. Adventurous for me, second nature for him, we crossed a creek where the current seemed to be at its most gentle flow. Guided by a hand of friendship, I reached the other side without falling in. We paused occasionally to see the vistas before the leaves that are surely coming change the view of the landscape for the season and to bask in the sun, grateful that winter has finally receded.


Tony’s Carving

I had been here several times since I learned that Frozen Head State Park was one of my son’s favorite hiking spots. Each time I came, I carefully inspected all the wooden benches and handrails and bridges I came across, looking for graffiti that my son had carved into a handrail of a bridge that I knew not. I knew of the carving because a friend of his had sent me a photo of it shortly after his death. He had inscribed “T-Dawg,” a nickname some of his friends called him on occasion, into the wood somewhere in the park. And each time, I departed, not having found the inscription and thinking that I never may.

Later found

Later found

This time, accompanied by my friend, toward the end of our afternoon hike, we came upon the very bridge where Tony had stood and found what I had searched for so many times. The original carving was covered with green mold and was now faded, but still visible. This time, water flowed under the bridge, and two small fish swam below. Without proper tools, I promised myself I would return to leave my mark alongside his, and I shall.

How fitting that his mark was on a bridge. A Dictionary of Symbols indicates, “the bridge symbolizes the link between what can be perceived and what is beyond perception. Even when it lacks this mystic sense, the bridge is always symbolic of a transition from one state to another–of change, or the desire for change.” My friend appropriately commented, “Somehow, this describes your new relationship to Tony, who for you now exists in nature, which you can perceive through your senses, even though you cannot actually perceive Tony as he once was.” He went on to say, “It symbolizes both Tony’s transition to another state and your own transition as you come to terms with his new mode of being.” Such eloquence, compassion, and empathy is beyond measure.

And so I name this bridge, Tony’s Bridge, always to be my transitional link between what was and what is now.


Tony's Bridge

Tony’s Bridge

  1. Annie says:

    Amparo you never fail to give me goosebumps and oh how my heart swells with love for you and Tony! Absolutely beautiful!

  2. Debra says:

    Wonderful!! I am so happy you found Tony’s mark.

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